Here are 5 basic strategies you could quickly adapt to deal with your stubborn child.
- Give choices not plenty but at least 2 or 3. The kid feels the control is in their hand and still you can get the job done. (Simple things like fruits in breakfast or school lunch box.) (Homework after half hour of play or before.) The ultimate goal is to get the job accomplished without much of wasting energy on both parents and kids. The approach is important.
- Attitude and tone as a parent. The overall approach of instructions by parents, their words which sounds like ordering would instantaneously cause a refusal, talkback or anger from the child. Instead, you partner with them about how should the routines or the chores. Need to be explicit about the completion; being more specific with time and schedules. Let them choose, and you can remind them if there is a slip.
- Negotiate or bargain and make a win-win situation. Negotiations sets in the right message that we are acknowledging them as a powerful human being.
- Positively inspire them:Never remark you are fool or dumb and would not be able to do such and such activities. Instead, share your life experiences and how you have mastered it. However, insignificant the experience or the event may be to you now it would be great learning for your kid. Your child can easily relate to the same basic situations. Thus your child may agree to try out which he or she was previously refusing.
- Discrimination of child's behaviour because of gender: In India, it is prevalent to say it is ok to be a stubborn boy as stubbornness is considered a male character. The girl being stubborn is unappreciated. Somehow it has to be quenched with mighty hands. In a family of siblings of brother and sister different reactions in being stubborn are displayed by parents.The result is detrimental to the development of both the kids. Each one gets a different message. The girl's spirit crushes, and she may turn to an anxiety-prone girl with no self-confidence. The male child will eventually become a headstrong guy.
So be strong and face your fiery little creature for every simple situation with choices and determination. Listen to them patiently. Believe your child; and look forward to the positive outcome of being a strong willed child.